This was a difficult one for me. But it was answered to me last night – at least in part. I am praying for more insight.
My faith in Brigham had wavered. It had wavered to the point that I really thought ill of him. He banned the priesthood to the Blacks. He institutionalized polygamy into the church. D&C 132 was canonized and there are many parts of it that don’t sit well with me. And I have heard all sorts of horrible stories of things he did. In my last blog post, I dissed him suggesting that if I started a revival, I would eliminate his hands from the Doctrine and Covenants. Yet he is not here to defend himself.
I did not use to feel this way. I always reverenced him in the past as the prophet of his day. However, that was really not based on any testimony. It was based on culture. Also, on the belief that if the Book of Mormon is true, then the church must be true too. But then I doubted – well sort of. I did remember how I felt when did listen to him.
Five years ago, I listened to an audio book of the Discourses of Brigham Young. I loved the book. I listened to it twice. Some parts I listened to multiple times. I loved the book so much that I purchased it. I was also recalling that when I read Hugh Nibley’s book “Approaching Zion”, the book was heavily focused on the teachings of Brigham Young. I loved that book too.
But then I listened to some of the podcasts of Michelle Stone – just a few of them. It was just enough to convince me that the Book of Mormon was a very anti-polygamy book. And it is. Not only does Jacob condemn the practice, but so does Moroni in his abridgement of the Book of Ether. Then I approach the Nemenhah record and it condemns Polygamy as being the original teaching of Satan after the fall of Adam. Is it true? How do I know?
Next, I learned that the Brother Bickerton was excommunicated for not rejecting the priesthood to the blacks and because he refused on polygamy. Wow, so who has the priesthood now? You can see that this is very confusing to me. Do I turn on the past leader who I loved? Or do I follow what I am now learning.
Then I went against my best judgement and posted something to Facebook. I did not feel good about the post. It is controversial and it did not have the spirit. Soon I set the privacy to private. I did not like the vibe coming in on the post.
That night I prayed about Brigham Young. I don’t understand the polygamy piece and the blacks piece. How can he be a prophet? What is really going on here.
Then I Saw His Face
That is right. The vision was given to me. While on my knees I saw the face of Brigham Young. He was about 50 or 60 years old. His skin was rough. He had the beard in this photo which is the short beard. It was him, with more detail than I ever saw in any photo. It was a three dimensional viewing. It was Nothing more than the micro glimpse that seems to happen to me in my visions. I wish they lasted longer; however, I am grateful for the micro glimpses if that is all I get. Sometimes, I get dreams. But no dream was given that night. I don’t have control over the dreams. They come from God. I have to be in the right. And God must be willing to show mercy and grace on me if I am worthy of it.
Then at 6:30 I woke up. As I said, there was no dream. No new news. No new insight. Except this. I was overcome with the feeling that he was very much a PROPHET. He served with great urgency. He was one who did everything he could to push forward God’s work. Drawing from the past, I knew that he was a revivalist. He loved the Lord. Now I know his words need to be heard and listened to. HE IS LEGIT. He is a man of God.
I am still praying for more understanding on what happened. I have a difficult time understanding the Blacks thing. But because I have seen myself be racist in the past, I get it. The Polygamy thing is still a mystery to me. I have no belief that it will be settled by historians. They all disagree. The D&C 132 thing is also still odd to me. But I will be content to know that in general, his teachings were correct, proper, upright, and inspired. I will never condemn him again, only seek for understanding. Because now I know, he was a prophet.
As far as Michelle Stone is concerned, I believe she is courageous. I applaud her research and efforts. My opinion is that the church would be wise to not cast her out for disagreeing with the narrative. She should not be silenced and forced to take down her podcast. Silencing her will not help the cause of the church. In fact, I believe it will hurt it. However, I am somewhat ignorant. I only listened to the first 10 of her 150+ videos.
Brigham Young was a mortal and fallible man who tried to serve the Lord. If he made some serious mistakes, it is for me and others to forgive him. I may be correct in the belief that his mistakes cost the church the membership of millions. Did he have to engage in polygamy? Or did he do it on his own? I don’t know the answer. But I have made similar mistakes too. And my supposition is that if you analyzed your complete life, you will see your mistakes also – and you will know that you caused a lot of damage in your actions and in-actions also. So be kind and look for the good. Let us learn what we can from Brigham Young and be strengthened in it.